Romance Scenes I Do Not Write

All Men Fart

If you're in a relationship, you might compare yours with the ones in your favorite romance novels. 

But doing that is very much like comparing your life to the lives of others on social media.

You know what I'm talking about. Your friend confides in you that her marriage is on rocky ground, but her social media shows them on vacation, having fabulous meals, adorably playing with their toddler, whatever. She does not post pics and video of one of them crying or slamming doors or sleeping on the sofa.

We all know that people's social media is not an accurate reflection of what their daily lives are. How many times have you cropped a photo to avoid the basket of unfolded laundry or the messy coffee table before posting the pic on your social media? Anybody would assume your house is always neat and tidy and maybe it is, but mine isn't. I only wish my house was as put together as it usually appears on my social media.

Similarly, in Romance Land, you see a specially curated version of romance. Sure, we romance novelists share scenes of The Big Misunderstanding and other obstacles to true love. But I've yet to read a scene in which she walks into the bathroom and discovers he didn't flush. Or he farts all night after a few too many bean burritos. Or she starts her period in the middle of the night and the bed looks like a murder scene in the morning. Sometimes, your morning breath is foul, and you just don't want to kiss passionately until a thorough brushing has taken place. There are so, so many very unromantic moments in a real relationship. We just edit that stuff right out, just like you edit your life on social media. Both tell fictional stories.

Give your guy (or gal) a break. It's OK to fall short of the perfection displayed by the hot people in romance novels. But in the spirit of accuracy, I'm considering adding a few farts into my next work. If nothing else, that might make you look more kindly upon your partner, right?

Just kidding. Even if all men IRL fart, I can promise you that none of my leading men have ever done such a thing! 

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